I’m known amongst my friends and contacts as The Feminist one. So much so that I’m regularly tagged in articles and memes about women’s rights issues, or anything connected to feminism in any way.
Recently I was tagged in a post about women’s rights to go topless. The image of a topless man and a topless woman, the man’s chest declaring that society finds his chest to be acceptable, and the woman’s chest declaring that society finds hers to be unacceptable. The campaign is along the Free The Nipple line, that women’s breasts are overly sexualised and therefore must be kept hidden, whilst men’s are fine to be exposed to the world should he so desire. It’s a popular line from Liberal Feminists, and I see it shared in various incarnations a lot.
I understand where this is coming from, and I certainly do believe that women’s bodies are overly sexualised. It happens from childhood when girls in school uniforms are catcalled, into adulthood when women breastfeeding are considered to be indecent and exposing themselves inappropriately. Women’s breasts, and women’s bodies, are sexualised in an overt and inappropriate manner, and we all suffer for it.
However, I find it interesting, and noteworthy, that these campaigns to encourage women to expose their bodies, to decriminalise prostitution, to destigmatise sex work and stripping, and to encourage women to have a lot of sex, are very, very popular amongst men.
Men find it incredibly easy to get behind Liberal Feminism, to cheer women on as they pole dance for their liberation, pose naked for their liberation, and have sex on camera for liberation…because it’s not liberating. It’s a movement designed to con women into being exactly what men have always wanted them to be. And to celebrate as they do it.
It’s simply a way of convincing women that doing the things men have always wanted them to do is actually all about their freedom. It just happens to look exactly the same as all the women who are doing it because they’re forced to and trafficked. Because these men don’t care if you’re forced to or not, as long as you’re doing it.
With regards to the campaign for women’s right to go topless, I would buy it as more about women than men if the images used for the campaign were not of young, slim, perky breasted nineteen year olds. Young, slim, perky breasted nineteen year olds are regularly encouraged to expose their breasts. Instagram is awash with hopeful models doing exactly that without a single complaint. If the women in the campaigns were older, carried more weight, had breastfed three large babies, and didn’t shave their armpits, then maybe I’d be convinced.
Yes, women and men both have nipples, and they should all be equal. I absolutely agree that women should not have their bodies policed. But the people fighting for that to change never focus on the bodies of women that men don’t want to see. Encouraging pretty young women to go topless has absolutely nothing to do with feminism, and everything to do with men wanting to see boobs and convincing women that it’s a good idea to let them.
The sex positive movement carries the same weight. Making women feel like they’re not liberated if they don’t have a lot of sex. Making lesbians feel like they’re bigoted if they don’t do dick. Making stripping and prostitution seem like a job for women who are truly free of societies expectations, and willing to embrace their sexuality and bodies with confidence. More recently, the massive trend of choking being cool and sexy, and if you observe the number of women who have died due to sex games gone wrong you’re bigoted and kink shaming.
Of COURSE these men love it! It gives them everything they’ve ever wanted. And it does it in a way that earns them woke brownie points.
If sex positivity was about showing respect, experiencing pleasure, and making sex a positive experience, sure. I’m in. But it’s not. It’s about normalising everything dangerous men have wanted to do to women but were told they were perverts for. Now the perverts are the ones who say no.
Feminism Should Be For Women
My advice is never trust a man who is balls out for feminism as long as it’s not about women. If they don’t recognise that women as a sex are oppressed, they’re full of shit. If they think threatening women with violence if they don’t comply with demands to say or do whatever is the latest trend, they’re full of shit. If they don’t throw their energy and weight behind some of the less sexy and fun issues that women face, they’re full of shit.
If your feminism isn’t about women, it’s bullshit.
It’s estimated that internationally there are between 20 million and 40 million people in modern slavery today.
11 Facts About Human Trafficking, DoSomething.Org
Around the world, women and girls make up 71% of trafficked people. That is an overwhelming majority. That is slavery of women on an enormous scale, and it’s an international problem. If you choose to focus on the tiny percentage of prostituted women who claim they want to be there, and ignore the millions of women who definitely don’t, then your feminism is bullshit.
It is estimated that more than 200 million girls and women alive today have undergone female genital mutilation in the countries where the practice is concentrated. Furthermore, there are an estimated 3 million girls at risk of undergoing female genital mutilation every year. The majority of girls are cut before they turn 15 years old.
Female Genital Mutilation, Who.int
When women and girls are cut, it is a life changing act of physical abuse. When it doesn’t kill the victims, it leaves them permanently damaged, unable to urinate safely or comfortably, and in pain constantly. The wound is stitched to preserve virginity, then ripped open to allow the husband to have sex with her whilst she’s in agony. It is happening around our world today, and it is hideous. If your feminism focuses on women who want to undergo labioplasty to preserve their virginal looking vulva to show it off on camera, but ignores the millions of women who are suffering in agony because of what is done to their vulvas for the sake of men, your feminism is bullshit.
The latest UN figures show that 137 women across the world are killed every day by a partner or member of their own family – a total of 50,000 women a year murdered by people they know and should be able to trust.
As the UK publishes its first census of women killed by men, here’s a global look at the problem,
Word Economic Forum
One woman was killed every two and a half day by a man. Imagine, if you will, that one person of any other category of humans was killed at that rate in the UK. Imagine the absolute horror and outrage, the reports in the media, the call for an end to the violence. But women as a sex class are expected to die at this rate. So few make the news because people don’t care.
Focus On Women Or It’s Bullshit
If you want to support women, support women. Don’t just support women who conform to men’s expectations of what women should do, don’t just support the women reporting their glee at the celebrations of their beauty and sexuality. Don’t just support women who you agree with. Don’t just support women who conform to everything powerful men in society have always demanded women be. Support women.
I’ve now received so many death threats I could paper the house with them, and I haven’t stopped speaking out. Perhaps – and I’m just throwing this out there – the best way to prove your movement isn’t a threat to women, is to stop stalking, harassing and threatening us. 8/X
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) November 22, 2021
JK Rowling has spoken about the number of death threats she receive because some people disagree with her that biological sex exists. Agree with her or not, doesn’t matter. Think the people threatening to murder her for it are in the right? Your feminism is bullshit.
Feminism is for women, and it’s about women. Women you don’t like. Women you don’t agree with. Women who don’t look beautiful or like having sex with men.
You know Liberal Feminism isn’t about liberating women because it doesn’t require it’s supporters to actually fight for women’s liberation. If it did, men wouldn’t like it so much.