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JJ Barnes

JJ Barnes writes about parenting, feminism, current affairs and writing

By - JJBarnes

Why I think we should stop telling children “I want doesn’t get.”

I want doesn’t get is a standard statement used when children say “I want” something. Recently we were in a charity shop, killing a bit of time before school pick up as we were early, and we were letting our three year old explore. She was very excited by all the cheap toys, but came across an enormous fluffy pink

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By - JJBarnes

I can only be the kind of mother I am… and sometimes it’s not who they want me to be.

I have a six year old daughter, a three year old daughter, and a six year old step son. I love them all fiercely, I would kill and die for these children, and I try to be the best mother I can be to them. But the big two are old enough to compare me to other mothers. And I

By - JJBarnes

I cannot keep my house tidy, and I think it’s time to stop apologising for it.

I live in a messy house. It’s not just messy, it’s full. There’s three children with three different interests and they’re all young enough that they still play with toys. A LOT of toys. They go through quantities of clothes because of their frequent proximity to chocolate, and mud, and their version of cleaning up is to throw whatever it

By - JJBarnes

The lies I told myself about the lies I’d never tell my children.

Yesterday my six year old daughter lost her first tooth. This is a significant event in a child’s life and she’d been watching her friends lose teeth over the last year with envy. To finally lose her first tooth was very exciting for her. It would be her first visit from the Tooth Fairy! “Mummy,” she said to me with

By - JJBarnes

What writing a book with my step-son means to me.

My little patchwork family is made up of myself and my partner, my daughter from my first marriage, his son from his first marriage, and our tyrannical toddler who came along 9 months after my 30th birthday… We’ve been a family for five years now. I’ve looked after my step-son for at least part of nearly every single day since

By - JJBarnes

Sometimes I Don’t Want To Be A Mother Anymore

Some people are natural parents. People who give off an aura that says they’re good with children, even if they’re alone or don’t have kids. My best friends are natural mothers. They’re amazing with their own children, and brilliant with other people’s too. They’re so natural with children they have opted to work with them as well as to raise

By - JJBarnes

What we should learn about consent from Jessica Yaniv’s testicles.

If you’re unfamiliar with the Jessica Yaniv case, I’ll give you a brief history. But if you want to find out more it’ll be pretty easy, Yaniv and her testicles are all across the internet. Jessica Yaniv wanted to get her body hair waxed, including a full Brazilian, and for Yaniv that means all around the penis and balls. Yaniv

By - JJBarnes

What is gender neutral parenting, and why would you do it?

I am raising my children to be “gender neutral”. This is a concept that is often widely scorned, and I think I understand why, but I also think it’s a misunderstanding. I’m not raising my children to be neither a boy nor a girl, I’m raising my children to be who they are regardless of whether they’re a boy or

By - JJBarnes

Am I risking my daughter’s safety to help her follow her dream?

Sometimes our children will love things and want things that we know are bad for them. We guide them, advise them, keep them as safe as possible because we love them and its our job. But what if they want something that is good for them in so many ways, but carries a risk that makes you feel sick. What